When You Lose a Loved One, You Lose Your Mind
Losing a loved one—whether a pet, partner, friend, or family member—can feel like losing your mind. The life you once knew, the routines you shared, and the very structure of your world are suddenly gone. The mind, which thrives on familiarity and connection, is thrown into chaos. Neural pathways that once revolved around your loved one remain active, but with nowhere to go, they create a painful void. This disconnect between expectation and reality can leave you feeling lost, confused, and emotionally unmoored.
Grief is disorienting, much like phantom limb syndrome, where the brain continues to register a missing limb as though it were still there. Even after a loved one is gone, the mind still expects their presence—you may instinctively reach for the phone to call them, turn toward their favorite chair, or anticipate their familiar sounds. But they are not there, and the conflict between what the brain expects and what reality delivers can feel unbearable. The heart, however, understands what the mind resists. While the mind struggles with the absence, the heart begins to carry love forward, making grief not just an emotional process but a deeply neurological and spiritual one.
Healing takes time and patience. The brain must slowly rewire itself, not by forgetting but by integrating loss into a new reality. Moving forward does not mean leaving grief behind—it means allowing love and sorrow to coexist. By taking grief breaks, surrounding ourselves with understanding people, spending time in nature, and finding ways to honor our loved ones, we reshape our world. The loss will always be there, but so will the love—and ultimately, it is that love that carries us forward.
Kaleel is the director of Animal Talks (AnimalTalksInc.com), a nonprofit providing grief support and counseling services.
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